Growing Up Saved: When Loving God Feels Like Losing Yourself

What do you do if the faith that raised you seems to fail when you need it the most?

Kristen LaValley grew up a church kid through and through. She said “the sinner’s prayer” before she could write her name—and spent the next few decades trying to prove she meant it; in a body that couldn’t rest, with a mind she didn’t yet understand, under a God she was afraid to disappoint. She learned to perform the kind of faith that got praised: one that hid pain and swallowed questions.

But in the thick of depression, spiritual exhaustion, and a late ADHD diagnosis, she found herself wondering if the faith she’d built her life on could really hold her.

In Growing Up Saved, Kristen maps the slow undoing of a faith formed in certainty and what it took to find God in the middle of her unraveling.

In these pages, you’ll find authenticity, empathy, and compassionate theology as you explore:

how to find your way through a faith that was formed in fearthe intersection of trauma, mental health, neurodivergence, and spiritual identitythe healing work of making peace with your body, your mind, and your storya path for those navigating life after disillusionment, burnout, religious trauma, or pain

This book isn’t a call to give up on faith. It’s an invitation to hold it differently. With tenderness, grit, and humor, Kristen offers a hard-won way through grief and grace to a messy, holy rebuilding.